The Bahamas is in need of serious dialogue on several issues in this country. But every time I listen to people on talk shows or on social media or even speak to them in person there are a number of things that they say that make me sad.
Sad because they actually believe they are contributing something useful and/or deep to the conversation but it’s completely useless. It’s just a platitude that sounds good but adds nothing to the conversation. Unfortunately many, If not the majority of Bahamians say these things on a regular basis.
Well today, I’m starting this series to expose these sayings and explain why I think they are useless.
Be forewarned, It’s very likely that you have said one of these things before… but that’s ok, It’s never to late to stop a bad habit.
Useless Saying #1
Parents need to do they job, It begins in the home etc etc…
This is a favorite with Bahamians. It sounds very good, because in one sense its true. If parents did their job and grew up their children the right way we probably wouldn’t have the problems with young males that we have today.
So why is it a useless Bahamians saying? Simple, it makes no sense!
Lets look at it, And follow me closely on this.
You have a parentX who drinks, cusses, keeps sweetheart, smokes dope or all manner of things that you should not do in front of children. No surprise these children turn out to be menaces to society. They kill, commit armed robbery, assault, etc, etc.
The question is then asked, how can we prevent this from happening? You answer, “it begins at home, parents need to do their job.”
Now let me ask you this, Do you think that parentX is capable of being a good parent? Do you think telling parentX that they should be a better parent will make a difference to their parenting style? Will that parent suddenly say to his/herself; “wow I’m a bad parent, I need to change”, just because you say so?
Not freaking likely! Bad parents are bad parents because they are, well, bad parents.
Saying a bad parents needs to be a good parent and raise their children right is a complete waste of time and is not a sensible suggestion to make when it comes to a solution for our current problems… I hope you follow that. No? well let me give you two real life examples;
When I was in my early twenties and use to go clubbing I remember seeing a really fine looking young lady in what is now Charlies Club. Cute face and body was right! She was with two other women, who also looked nice but were older. Filled with liquid courage I walked over and started trying to talk to her, to get her to dance with me. I quickly learned that she was just turning 17, that the two ladies with her were her mother (early 30s) and grandmother (mid-late 40s). Apparently they were bringing her to the club for the first time. I must say they seem to be protecting her though, they didn’t let any guys dance with her. I got the impression that they were screening for a guy who could “do something” for her… not a drunk college kid like me.
A few years ago I had some friends that lived in an over the hill ghetto area. Sometimes through the week or on weekends I would pass by and hangout with them. Ghetto life is fascinating, you could basically get anything you wanted on that on street. Anyway, we were hanging out one evening and a guy was there called “Screw”. While hanging out a little boy about 8-10 years old was walking pass. Screw very proudly called the lil boy over in a loud boisterous voice with a guinness in hand said “this my lil boy, this my lil shooter bey! aint nobody ga mess with me and him! And you is daddy lil shooter?” Blushing the way children do when their parents are proudly showing them off to other adults the boy said yes he was daddy’s lil shooter.
That was about 5-6 years ago, I don’t know where the boy is or what he’s doing now… but a few year ago Screw was shot in the head while playing domino’s on his mother’s porch…
My point is that parents are not always capable of being good parents. They’re not always qualified. So to say that parents just need to raise their children correctly is a complete utter waste of breath. Sure they need to, but do they? No. Will you saying they need to, change anything? No!
So let’s get on with a serious discussion about what needs to be done to prevent children from turning to a life of crime and leave the useless platitudes out of it.
What say you?